Welcome to another blog post!
As you can probably tell by the title, you’re aware that I’ve started going to the gym. That feels strange to write. It’s not a “I’ve been thinking about it.” or a “I’m going to start on Monday.” No, I’ve actually been going and I’ve been going for some time.
I’m not really sure what changed for me. Maybe I got tired of saying I should do something and never doing it. Maybe I wanted to prove to myself that I could stick with something. Maybe I just reached a point where the idea of staying exactly the same felt worse than the idea of walking into a gym and feeling completely out of place. You know that feeling, right?
The first time I went, I was convinced everyone would be looking at me. Of course, I knew they wouldn’t be, but rational thoughts don’t always win. I spent far too much time wondering if I looked like I belonged there, whether I was using equipment correctly and whether people could tell that I was a newbie.
Spoiler alert, nobody cared. Everyone was far too busy doing their own thing, which was reassuring.
I won’t pretend I’ve suddenly become someone who loves exercise because I haven’t. I’m not bouncing out of bed desperate to get on a treadmill or lift some weights. There are days when I’d much rather stay at home. Having said that, there’s something oddly satisfying about it.
It’s nice having somewhere to go that’s just for me and only me. There’s no work, no responsibilities and no expectations beyond turning up and trying. Some days I have a great session. Some days I spend most of the time wondering how my legs can possibly be this tired. Either way, I leave feeling better than when I arrived and that’s all I can ask for.
Do you know what’s funny though? The biggest change so far isn’t physical. I don’t look dramatically different. I haven’t suddenly transformed into one of those people who posts motivational workout quotes online. The change is mostly in my head. Every time I go, there’s a tiny little voice that says, “you did it!’
I don’t know what this will look like in the future. I don’t know whether I’ll become someone who genuinely enjoys the gym or whether it’ll always be something I have to persuade myself to do. What I do know is that I’ve started, and for now that’s enough. If anything, I’ve proved to myself that I can walk into a place that scares me a little bit and keep going back. That feels worth celebrating.
And that’s it! Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read this post and I will see you soon for another one!
Beth
Beth Olivia 